Reopened Mind

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Posts by Reopened Mind

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  10

  Update on my Uncle.

  by LouBelle in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  it is so difficult to watch someone you love die slowly.

  my uncle has terminal prostate cancer - that is how it started and developed from there to invade the bladder, urinary tract, urethra.

  the doctors could not operate on him as he would more than likely die on the operating table.. he chose to fight.

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  Reopened Mind

  LouBelle,

  So sorry. ((((((((HUGS)))))))

  It is so hard watching someone you love die. Treasure the time you have left with him as I know you are.

  TotallyADD & Reopened Mind
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  160

  I'm new here..... Studying with the Witnesses

  by PenelopePaige in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  hi- i just wanted to say that i have been checking the website out for a few weeks and have read some horror stories and some sad ones.

  but i have been studying with witnessess for about six months and can't help but feel that they're completely sincere and maybe even, the true religion.

  i love the watchtower and awake and to me, none of that seems crazy.

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  Reopened Mind

  PenelopePaige,

  You are very wise to do your research before committing to becoming a Jehovah's Witness. If only the internet was available back when many of us were studying there would be a lot fewer of us here. To avoid getting sucked into any high control group I highly recommend reading Steve Hassan's book "Combatting Cult Mind Control" and compare it to ANY group that is trying to recruit you.

  Having an unexplained "supernatural" experience can be overwhelming. Please try to find a logical explanation for what happened to you. A good place to start would be anything written by Michael Shermer who publishes Skeptic magazine. His website is www.skeptic.com.

  Reopened Mind
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  61

  Never, ever posted to a site before-Scarec silly

  by PaintedToeNail in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  hi, i'm scared to death writing this that i will be discovered and have major problems.

  i had a good life being raised as a jw child.

  many good memories of people, places and times.

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  Reopened Mind

  PaintedToeNail,

  Your courage in posting here is commendable especially with a husband who is still a believing JW.

  You ask, "What else is there to believe in?" This is a reflection of the WT saying of "Where will we go away to?" To the latter question, there is a whole wide world to explore. To the former question, you don't have to believe in anything at least for the moment. Take the time to explore new ideas without WT glasses. Open your mind and decide for yourself. It's a scary journey for sure but it will be your journey.

  Much good advice has already been given. Give heavy consideration to what nugget said. Think deeply about how the isolation of being raised in a closed cult will affect your children, how it robs them of normal social interaction. They need to make their own mistakes without the threat of disfellowshipping hanging over their heads. And, yes, they will make them. Be there to pick them up, not kick them out. My husband, TotallyADD, was raised a JW and we raised our two boys in the cult.

  Do as much research as you can. There is much on the internet if you don't feel you can get your hands on a book. You also have a lot of support here as there is someone here who has experienced each aspect of what you have been through. If you would be more comfortable you can post in the members only section or pm any one of us. Just let us know by posting, for example, "Reopened Mind you have a pm".

  Relax and take your time. The world is not going to end anytime soon.

  Reopened Mind
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  28

  Newbie want's to say hi

  by Adso in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  just wanted to say hi and thanks to everyone that has posted their stories and comments.

  i was df'ed a few months ago now and reading this forum has helped out heaps.

  based on that i wanted to contribute in the hope that my experiences resonate with someone and help with the healing proccess the way it's helped me.

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  Reopened Mind

  WOW Adso,

  A big welcome to the forum.

  As a convert I cannot begin to understand what you have been through. There are many others here with similar stories including my husband who posts as TotallyADD. You will find a lot of support here. From what you have written so far it looks to me that you need more than a support group. You need professional psychological help. I implore you to get it.

  The cult of Watchtower divides and conquers. Don't let it conquer you.

  Reopened Mind
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  41

  Thanks for your support JWN!!! Dad dies monday, JW family goes to convention on thursday

  by Coffee House Girl in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  coffee shop guy directed me to his thread...thank you so much everyone for your thoughts of support, it means a lot to have people who understand and show genuine sympathy.

  here's my experience so far.... my father dies monday night & my brother (nonjw) calls me to come home, when i arrive my father is still sitting on the couch- all the jw family is sitting in a semi-circle around him, my non jw brother is standing in the next room.

  no one is crying, no one is talking.

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  Reopened Mind

  Coffee House Girl,

  You have a pm

  Reopened Mind
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  41

  Thanks for your support JWN!!! Dad dies monday, JW family goes to convention on thursday

  by Coffee House Girl in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  coffee shop guy directed me to his thread...thank you so much everyone for your thoughts of support, it means a lot to have people who understand and show genuine sympathy.

  here's my experience so far.... my father dies monday night & my brother (nonjw) calls me to come home, when i arrive my father is still sitting on the couch- all the jw family is sitting in a semi-circle around him, my non jw brother is standing in the next room.

  no one is crying, no one is talking.

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  Reopened Mind

  Coffee House Girl (and by extension Coffee Shop Guy),

  TotallyADD and I send our sincerest condolences on the loss of your father. No matter how much we anticipate a loved one dying it is still a shock when it happens. It is made even more so by the reactions of those still trapped in the cult.

  Your remembrance of your dad with your brother around a campfire was truly touching. Very, very fitting and a true honor to your dad's memory.

  Please also extend our sympathies to your brother as well for the hurt he is going through.

  Reoened Mind
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  26

  My 1st post -- after being out for 10 years...

  by gonzo2k in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  so, i'm new to the site lurked around for a week or so now before signing up.

  i'll try to keep this first post short.

  just looking to make some connections with others that have been thru similar life experiences and help out anyone that feels empty and alone after leaving the "organization".

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  Reopened Mind

  Welcome to the forum Gonzo2K. While I was not raised by JW parents, TotallyADD and I raised our 2 boys in the cult. There is no way around it, following WT directives, raising children in the cult is abusive. By putting children in the forefront of the preaching work, by taking them door to door to talk to strangers about religion and requiring them to talk to strangers with little to no comprehension of what they are saying, that is abusive. That is spiritual abuse. I pioneered for 4 years when my youngest was between the ages of 1 and 5. Nevermind the potential for physical, verbal, and sexual abuse, all tolerated if not outright encouraged by the Society. Then there is the persecution they are forced to endure in school when they refuse to salute the flag and are not allowed to participate in the holiday parties or sports. I can see where my husband and children have missed out on valuable lessons by their exclusion of such activities.

  At any rate, please vent. I will be looking forward to reading more of your story when you are ready. Many here can relate to your situation. And for the rest of us the stories you and others post give us more understanding and empathy.

  Reopened Mind
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  46

  what religion are you now?

  by deservingone26 in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  its been a while since ive been on how is everyone doing?

  but just curious after you left jehovahs witnesses did you look into other religions?

  or are any of you currently involved in any other religions now?.

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  Reopened Mind

  My husband said I am a secular humanist which is what I call myself although I have not joined any group. This most closely defines what I now believe. I do not accept belief in anything supernatural. I think everything has an explanation even though we may never know what that may be. I believe in the human spirit, not any supernatural "holy spirit". I do not understand the shades of difference in the definitions of "atheist", "agnostic", "secular humanist", so I suppose all apply to me in some sense.

  Before I became a Witness I had strong doubts in the existence of a loving, caring god. I thought the Bible was simply a collection of stories for the purpose of teaching children moral lessons. I was confident that science would answer all questions. I have returned to those basic beliefs with refinements. Thus I call myself Reopened Mind.

  Reopened Mind
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  21

  New to the Board

  by 30 years out in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i am finally on board after lurking here for quite some time.

  i have been impressed and depressed by what i have seen here and hope i can add something meaningful.

  a little personal history: i was born the son of the then "congregation servant" and his wife.

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  Reopened Mind

  30 years out,

  I never could understand the prejudice people had toward those who were gay or black or communist or anything else for that matter. For the most part we all want the same thing---to live in peace with our fellow humans. Our differences is what enhances the fabric of our lives. Yet at one time I too was the judgemental narrow minded cult member. If feels so good to accept people for what they are instead of trying to squeeze them into something they cannot be.

  I am happy for you that you have a life partner of 14 years.

  Just curious, do you have any contact with your child?

  Reopened Mind
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  32

  What's The Longest You've Been In A Relationship?

  by minimus in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  and if you were dating someone "seriously", how long did that last?.

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  Reopened Mind

  Congratulations to Vanderhoven7 and his wife(?) for 40 years.

  TotallyADD and I passed the 37 year mark in March. Like typical JWs we dated for less than a year before we married.

  It matters not the length of time but the strength of the relationship.

  Reopened Mind